{Today is Guatemalan Father’s Day. And I imagine if our little girl could talk this is what she would say to her Daddy, her Papi}

Dear Papi,

I know you already love me. I like when you lean your iphone against mama’s belly to play our song. I will dance with you and probably fall asleep in your arms. I like when you sing to me and make goofy faces. And I like when you talk to me and whisper, “You’re my baby daughter.”

I know you have been praying for me. Please keep doing that, I will need it. When I fall down, I will probably cry. And when I am scared I will want to be in your arms. But help me to get up. Tell me I can keep going. Will you teach me how to ride a big-girl bike? Mama, says we should start with a bicycle…not a motorcycle. And that I have to wear a helmet.

I know you will always think I am beautiful, just because I am your daughter. And I like it when you tell me, but also tell me why. Tell me why I am a beautiful and what makes me special. You will probably also tell me when I am not being nice.  I need that, too. You will help me grow and learn how to be kind.

Daddy, you are brave and strong and I want to be brave and strong like you. Help me jump rocks and learn how to dive in the pool. Show me that brave people sometimes have to wait their turn and have a good attitude when you lose the game. Tell me sorry when you hurt my feelings or get mad at me. And I will try to do the same.

I think we will have lots of fun, you and I, going out for ice cream and driving in your car. I will probably ask you lots of questions. Will you tell me about the house where you grew up? And how the first sound you remember hearing every morning was the sound of your mom making tortillas by the fire? I want to hear the story of when you escaped from Kindergarten and how you used to climb trees and hide way up high. I will probably ask you to tell me these stories a hundred times. You might get tired of them, but I won’t. And will you take me to the coffee fields where you used to help your grandma pick coffee? And will you show me the streets where you walked to deliver paper in Guatemala city?

Please show me how to love other people and how to be kind and how to stand up for those who other people make fun.  Will you teach me how to play soccer? And how to eat my caldo with a tortilla in one hand just like you? And when we go to the park and I yell, watch me from the swings, will you come and watch me even though you’ve probably seen me jump off the swings a million times before.

I will ride on your shoulders when I get tired of walking and will hold your hand when crossing the street.

One day when I get older I will probably not hold your hand in front of my friends. And I might roll my eyes when you say a dumb joke and embarrass me. But the truth is, I will probably need you even more during these years. Make time to listen to me. And hug me. And try to remember all the names of my friends. When I come home from school crying, I bet you will want to fix it, but I think mommy already taught you that sometimes I just want you to sit on my bed and listen to me. That’s it.

I know I will probably make you mad. I might scream and yell and say mean things. And you might not know what to do with me sometimes. I think all Dad’s feel that. Just remember I still need you.

I will always need you in my life.

Daddy, I know you love Jesus and I know that Jesus doesn’t just speak English. Will you read me the Bible in Spanish and take me to places where I can see that Jesus really does love all of the children of the world- red, and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight. Will you show me what you believe and give me space to figure out what I do?

The truth is you will be the first man I love. Your approval and opinion matter the most to me. But one day you might have to let me go. You might see me hold another man’s hand and move away, but know that I will pick a good man, someone strong and kind like you. And even when I am big and all grown up, please don’t forget I was yours first.

You know, I don’t want to be your princess or your baby, I just want to be your daughter. And no matter how old I get I will still grab your hand and I tell you, I love you.

I think I am the luckiest girl in the whole world. I get to be your daughter. And you get to be my Dad.

Feliz dia del Padre! Te amo, Papi.

Love,

Your Daughter

{photo credit: http://blog.kidville.com}

(warning: if you’re slightly grossed out that I just said mucus membranes then you might want to stay clear of the blog for the next few weeks as I share more of the birth, baby and after-birth process. Just sayin’ I warned you : )

Usually if I came down with a cold I would just pop a few Sudafed and Advil, drink some tea and go about my day, but being pregnant and wanting to stay medicine-free as pushed me to look for more natural remedies.

Here are 9 Natural Home Remedies I have found helpful.

(and these work just the same even if you’re not pregnant)

1. Breathe right strips- At first I thought these were just for old people who snore…but let me tell you they really do help. They don’t really provide healing per se, but are wonderful when you can’t breathe through your nose and are trying to get a good nights sleep.

2. Better than a NetiPot- My dad has been a long time Neti Pot advocate and I used to be better at using it. But I never fully liked the old genie looking pot that you pour into your nose. I always ended up with more on the bathroom counter than coming out of my nose. But then I was introduced to the NeilMed Sinus Rinse. It’s a simple squeeze bottle and basically does the same thing– rinses out your sinus cavity with warm salt water– but easier to use. If you’re not going to buy this, then just a simple saline nose spray works wonders, too. Especially if live in a dry climate. Best thing is you can use it before, during or after a cold. Your sinus’ will thank me.

3. Eucalyptus Oil and Steam- A friend on instagram posted this simple remediesand each time I was really congested it provided instant, although not long standing relief. Heat up water, just below boiling and pour it into a glass bowl. Add 2-3 drops of Eucalyptus oil and place a large towel over your head that is also big enough to cover the bowl. Then  just breathe in and out through your nose. It’s normal to cough a few times. Imagine how it feels when you walk in a steam room. Gotta let your lungs get used to all that steam. (side benefit: it’s great for the pores on the face, too) I bought my Eucalyptus oil at a little local store called “Tienda de Dona Gabby” but since it would be a long trip for most of you to come to Guatemala, you can find it at Whole Foods or at this online store: Mountain Rose Herbs

4. Astragalus- I had never heard of this one, but my midwife swears by it and actually makes her own tincture. It’s an immune boosting herb/root that you take as soon as you feel a cold coming on. When I started coming down with a cold while in California, I emailed my midwife and this was what she recommended. My husband and I drove to Whole Foods on Christmas Eve, just before closing and bought one of these bottles. You can find it a little cheaper on  Amazon.You take 2 pills 3 times a day until you’re feeling better or a week has passed. It could be just the placebo affect, but I really think it helped me get over the cold faster.

5. tea- you know I tend to be of the mindset that tea heals all. And Guatemalans tend to agree. Best comfort/scratchy throat tea mix: Bring a handful of fresh mint leaves, finely chopped ginger, juice from one lemon (here we use limes because we don’t have lemons, but that’s another post) to a boil. Let it steep for 5-8 min and then use a strainer to pour into your favorite mug. Add honey to taste. I bet this would be great iced too. But I haven’t tried it.

6.  Pressure Points for Sinus Relief- Watch this video- nuff said. No seriously, if you’ve ever had one of those pounding, congested sinus headaches this gentle, pressing on your sinus points really does lead to some immediate relief and drainage. Give it a try. I did this right after the steam treatment.

7. sleep, sleep, sleep- I guess this should be a no brainer. But if pregnancy has taught me anything it is the value in naps, rest and getting extra sleep especially when you’re sick.

8. onions- i know people who swear by the whole, put half an onion by your bed. It’s worth a try. It’s never worked for me, but to each his own.

9. foot reflexology-- I am not a 100% convinced that this works either, but this post provides a pretty clear diagram of how it could help. And to be honest anytime I can convince a certain someone to massage my feet I am a happier person. If you’re a foot rub kinda of gal, then you may just love this one, whether or not your sick : )

Hope you’re feeling better, less congested and happier soon!

{like all medical advice you find on the web, always ask your doctor or midwife to see what’s right for you}

It’s Friday and I am linking up with Lauren Elizabeth’s High Five for Friday, which I saw on my friend Meredith’s blog: Elevensies. Both are worth checking out.

Now for my 5 things:

1. I am officially on maternity leave! And I must admit it feels pretty good. Secretly or not so secretly I would be happy if baby girl waited a few more weeks to come. I know, I say that now and I am probably going to be complaining come 41 or 42 weeks— but maternity leave (without a newborn or any other kiddos) feels a bit like a mini-vacation : ) I can’t remember the last time I forwarded all email, checked everything of my to-do list and turned over keys, folders, summer schedules, classroom plans, etc. I plan on soaking it up while I can.

2. Monday is Guatemalan Father’s Day- It’s always June 17th- the date doesn’t change like it does in the states. When I asked G what he wanted for Father’s Day he said “A day with his girls.” (insert: awwwwwwww) Why he is so sweet?

3. Walking and doing errands is slowly getting harder and well, slower. Cobblestone streets and little parking around town don’t make it any easier. However, I thoroughly enjoy my “front-of-the-line” pass that I get at every bank in town. It’s like the bigger my belly is, the quicker I get ushered to the front. If you live in Guatemala you know it’s common to wait in huge colas, anywhere from 10-40 min just to go to the bank and if you’re like us you probably have to visit 3 different banks just to pay rent, electricity and any other monthly deposits.  I tend to use this pregnancy perk and enjoy it for as long as I can.

4. I love having visitors and last week my dear friend and her husband came to visit us and explore Guatemala. Having friends in town always makes me go out and appreciate where we live. Thanks Dee and Mike for staying with us, being a part of our life and even taking our dog out

5. Two words: TED Talks Since I’ve been home a bit more and trying to rest and I would probably fall asleep if we watched a whole movie, I’ve been enjoying TED talks- 20 min of fascinating information and stories. Just watching it makes you feel smarter. My sister sent me this one: The linguistic genius of babies and my brother shared this one awhile ago: The way we think about charity is dead wrong (a must for anyone in the non-profit world). What are some of your favorite TED talks? Do share– I could potentially have 3-4 weeks here at home.

Happy Friday!

Last night we had our first hard rain of the season. I sat in bed listening to the water bounce off the plastic lamina we have covering our patio, thinking I need to soak up these moments. Quiet, uninterrupted, restful, early-to bed moments. Days feel longer and if I don’t take a nap then crawling into bed is early is about my favorite thing these days. Usually I make lists. I have lists for everything:

lists of things we need to get: hydrogen peroxide, a little bedside lamp, olive oil for her, super absorbent maxi pads for me

lists of things to put together before she comes: set-up co-sleeper, paint dresser, assemble Rocker Glider

list of work stuff to get done before I go on maternity leave: schedule for summer teams, flight itinerary, make final exams for students, email all site leaders,

and then of course lists of all the really practical projects I want to finish before a baby enters the picture: print wedding pictures, make photo books, organize all our receipts from 2013, get folders for medical info, visa & passport papers, etc

But last night I didn’t make any lists. I just sat, propped up with 4 pillows and listened to the rain. I watched my stomach jiggle up and down as this little one likes to stretch out in all directions at night. I talk to our little girl and tell her how excited we are to meet her. How I’d like her to stay in there for a few more weeks, even is she feels cramped and I tell her how loved she is.

These past few weeks I have been overwhelmed with people’s generosity and love. Friends near and far have sent gifts for me and the baby, other moms have offered perspective, advice and support and one friend who has little girl a few months older than our girl sent us a huge box of her out-grown newborn clothes. (I love, love hand-me-downs!) A dear friend through a lovely baby shower last weekend (pictures to come), co-workers from school had a lunch and shower in our honor this week and we are looking forward to one more shower this weekend. It’s been so special to see how many people already love this sweet little girl and are committed to supporting Gerber and I as we learn how to be her parents.

And perhaps one of the most meaningful parts has been to see how my mom already adores this little girl. I don’t quite understand the entirety of it– but I know there is something unique and deep about a mother’s heart. It’s like a mother’s love keeps multiplying, it doesn’t run out and nothing is held in reserve. I know my mom loves me and each of my siblings. We are her babies, no matter how big we get. But  I have loved seeing how she has even more love for this yet-to-be born little girl, her granddaughter.

Something about having a girl of my own in a few weeks makes me a bit more aware and sensitive to what it must feel like to have your grown-up daughter move far away. My parents are nothing but supportive and we joke, launched us 4 kids very well. At one point, they had one daughter living in Italy, another settled in Boston, me in Guatemala and my brother holding down the fort, at least within driving distance of their southern California home. But I don’t think a mother’s heart was meant to bridge long distances. Moms instinctively want to be close. I can feel it. And I know in 30 years if my daughter moves far away I am sure my heart will ache a bit and wish she was closer.

I am grateful became my mom came to spend a week with us last week. She came to be close; to get a little picture of our daily life here in Guatemala, to spend time with me before the baby comes and to be present. She joined us for a staff meeting and dinner with one of our teams and she came with me to school one day. We spent a lot of time in our little home- making cookies and quinoa salad, some hummus to eat now and lentil soup to freeze for after the baby is here. She taught me how to make apple pie, which somehow in my 30 years of living and eating I had never learned. We spent one sunny morning lounging at my favorite pool in town and some afternoons getting coffee, running errands and driving through the cobblestone streets of Antigua.

For 30 years my mom has shown me how to be a mom. How to love unconditionally, how say I am sorry and how to sacrifice and wait and pray and admit that you can’t always fix things for your kids even when you want to. She has shown me that moms too need nap times and coffee breaks and that calling a babysitter can be one of the best choices ever.

For as long as I can remember my mom has always had her nails painted. In fact I don’t think I even have a memory of her without nail-polish covering her nails. I never gave much thought to it, until recently. Moms’ hands have to deal with a lot. Poopy diapers, soapy water, spit-up, throw-up, clean-up, snotty noses and messy mouths and dirty toilets and I’m sure the list goes on. I kinda like that my mom dealt with all of those things (times 4!!) and somehow still made time or space to get her nails painted. Maybe it was her saving grace or a small way to take care of herself…and in turn her hands and her heart that spent mostly every other waking moment taking care of us.

I’ve never really asked her about it, but this week as I have been missing my mom and thinking about becoming a mother I went and got my nails done. With dark purple polish on my nails I thought I’m going to make this a tradition. I want to a good mom and I want to take care of myself so that I can take care of my daughter and our family. I think having painted nails may help…or at least make me remember my mom and feel utterly grateful for all she has done for me.

My thoughts and this post feel scattered, but maybe that’s what 35 weeks of pregnancy and approaching motherhood does to you.

Happy Friday to each of you!

Did your mom have any unique or fun traditions that you have kept? How have you learned to be a good mom, not a perfect one?

If you’ve followed along here recently then you definitely know that I have a baby on the brain. And it’s true our Baby Girl is coming soon and her pending arrival has opened up a whole new host of feelings. My heart is thrilled and beyond excited to meet her and learn how to be her mom. I waver back and forth between feeling calm, like the timing couldn’t be better, to panicking and making frantic lists of things we have to buy or get done before she comes.

I hear motherhood has a quick learning curve. And lately I have been fascinated by how cultures and mom’s around the world learn how raise their children. I never planned on living in a country different than the one I grew up in or raising my children bilingually. I am like a sponge soaking up information, noticing how moms care for their babies, respond to a cry or don’t, and realizing how different our cultural upbringing shapes how we think about parenting and kids.

I’ve been reading books on this topic. I find myself nodding along when moms describe things that other cultures do and how our first response if often to raise an eyebrow, give a stink eye and judge. But how there is often something to learn, maybe first and foremost about our own cultural values. I just downloaded and started I reading this book: How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting (from Argentina to Tanzania and everywhere in between) thanks to my friend, Sarah, who is also raising a bilingual daughter. And I loved French Kids Eat Everything and I even put this book: Our Babies, Ourselves: How Biology and Culture Shape the Way We Parent on my registry because it looks so interesting to me.

{I am kinda counting on hours and hours of breastfeeding time to read. Is this totally unrealistic? just tell me now…}

A few days ago an article I wrote appeared on InCultureParent, a great online resource and link for parents anywhere.

This quote by Nicholas Day, author of Baby Meets World, influenced the whole piece:

“every society has what it intuitively believes to be the right way to raise a child.”

Here’s an except from the article:

In a few short months I will be a first time mom. So, like any U.S. mom-to-be, I have been doing my reading; bits of BabyWise and Attachment Parenting, WebMD and my favorite mommy blogs are always open on my browser. I mean what new mom doesn’t want to have the Happiest Baby on the Block? I am a firm believer that our U.S. culture convinces us if we read and plan ahead of time then we will be better parents. And yet somehow I know nothing in these books or websites will totally prepare me for the birth of our first baby.

Read the rest here.

Have you ever thought about how much of your own ideas about parenting and raising kids are influenced by our culture? And I wonder if even two US parents, bring their own sub-cultural expectations into raising kids? Thoughts? Do share.

{photo: taken in 2007 without permission of these two moms… If I were to re-take it I would probably ask their permission first and their names and how how old her baby is : ) }

Last week a friend from Texas came down for a few days to visit, before heading up to volunteer at an orphanage in another part of Guatemala. I love having visitors.  For one it reminds to enjoy and appreciate where I live. It’s so easy to just do life– go by the bank, stop at the market, get a haircut, etc and not notice what’s around me. I rarely ever bring my camera when just walking around town. Things like colored walls, tuk-tuks and cobblestone streets all seem normal. But having a friend here allowed me to see things with a fresh perspective- the beauty, the fresh food, the delicious coffee, the slower pace of life.

These are some pictures from my town. Antigua, Guatemala.

All taken by the lovely, Julia.

Walking still feels pretty good for me and the bump. And since we didn’t have a car for the week, we spent a lot of time waiting, walking and…waiting, some more : ) But I guess that’s what you do when you’re a tourist in your own town.

The things you miss when you just drive by…

Don’t these pictures make you want to come visit?

Thanks Julia for coming to visit, being super patient and taking lovely photos!

P.S. While waiting for our taxi one afternoon….

I may have made her pose like this…she’s practicing : )

Have you ever gotten to take a few days to be a tourist in your own town?

In fact she taught me how to “do” my hair.

Let’s face it. My hair has always been “curly,” but I just never knew what to do with my curls. In high school I brushed them to form a weird frizzy wave and in college I cut them short and let it poof. Neither look was a winner.

See photo for evidence:

sisters circa 2003: BEFORE curly hair help

Then one New Years Eve everything changed. My sisters and I were all in Santa Barbara and had decided we were going to go out this year instead of staying at home, falling asleep before the ball dropped.

sister circa 2010: and AFTER

Steph, introduced me to two things:

1) The right shampoo and product

and

2) The right technique (NO brushing, lots of scrunching, extra gentle)

And voilà. The results were instantly better.

Pregnancy has done a number on my curls. On good day they get swept back in  a pony tail; on a lazy day twirled into a messy bun. Neither of which is particularly flattering.

But whenever I take the time to wash my hair (hint: if you read her post you’ll learn, it’s NOT every day) and apply the right stuff and scrunch my curls I always think of my sister.

Thanks Steph!

I am home this week car-less and husband-less, hence the extra time for blogging. I did a pregnancy update at week 16 and week 20… so week 31 seems like a good time.

Now that my bump is very noticeable and very round, lots of people touch and comment on it. My favorite is when a Guatemalan women who I may or may not know, looks my way and says “ay, que gordita.”  Someone would never get away with this in the states. It’s kinda like the equivalent of oh, hey fatty…you’re looking good. But for some reason in a culture where women are valued for round curves and most everyone has love handles, I have learned to accept this has a compliment.

ok, the 9 most recent questions:

Do you have a name?

yep, we do. And no, we’re not sharing it quite yet It passed the Starbucks test back in January and we just gave a list to both of our families with 6 potential first names and middle names. We wanted to make sure both sides could pronounce her name. So, they don’t know her name either, but they have some ideas.

How are you feeling?

I go back and forth between being really, really excited and then panicking slightly thinking “ahh, we’re not ready…we don’t have diapers, clothes, or anything set up.” Thankfully, I’ve had a pretty easy, not-too-much-to-complain about pregnancy. I blame it on good genes. Thanks, mom!  My lower back gets sore if I am on my feet for more than 30 minutes and I have had congestion/head colds on and off for a few weeks. I think being pregnant really does lower the immune system or something. Yoga has been my saving grace. As well as a husband who massages my back, feet, head, etc whenever I ask. I’d kinda like his treatment to continue even after the baby is here. (hint, hint, honey )

How’s the midwife going?

Hannah, our midwife, has been great. She’s got her own-style, as you might expect of a midwife, but she KNOWS her stuff when it comes to babies, birth, moms, and health. We’ve started a 6-week birthing class with 4-other couples and I just love learning about labor and delivery and this little miracle that my body is making. I could seriously consider a career change as a doula or midwife– maybe in my next life. We have appointments every 2 weeks now and one of the things I love is how Hannah talks to our baby as she’s trying to measure and feel for position. I think it’s the cutest thing ever. Baby Girl is head down, which makes this Mama very happy. Mostly our appointments are for Hannah to weigh me, check the baby’s heartbeat and answers all of my bzillions of questions– more recently having to do what happens after birth. I am feeling a little relieved that she provides 40-days post-postpartum care to help with breast feeding, newborn care, and all the post-birth related aches and pains that new moms have.

 Are you settled in your new place?

For the most part, yes. A temporary settled we might say. We’re hoping to spend May getting a guest room set up and making Baby Girl a little corner in our room with her co-sleeper and some kind of changing table/dresser. We are so thankful to have found a place just a few blocks away from our current house…because we still walk back there to do laundry once a week. I call it our Sunday Laundry Party : ) — our new place doesn’t have the right hook-ups or space for our machine. I tell myself, walking a few blocks to do laundry is still better than having to wash everything by hand like so many Guatemalans do.  Construction is well underway at our old house- windows/doors knocked out, stairs being built and a new wall going up! We’re hoping for no big surprises, a quick finish and to be able to move back in October!

Can you feel her move?

Yes, all the time. Although now it’s not so much little kicks and flutters, but this shifting bulge that kind pokes against my ribs and stomach. Sometimes if I’m laying flat in bed…I can see her move her little body from side to side. And Gerber tells me when I am sleeping in the morning, he’ll place his hands on my belly and feel her move. If this kid is a morning person, G has already told me he’ll take her every morning. I love the sound of that!

How’s the daddy-to-be doing?

I think he’s more excited than I am. Maybe because he can’t feel her or sense her the way I can. He talks to her and plays music and calls her by name. I really do believe there is some kind of special bond between fathers and daughters. He has informed me that since I carried her the first 9 months, he’ll carry her the next 9 months : ) We’ll see how that goes. His biggest concern: getting to the birthing clinic, which is a good hour drive from our place. He’s worried about things like traffic, not making it in time and having a baby in the car. For some reason I am not worried about any of these scenarios.

What’s been the hardest part so far?

Maybe the not knowing what to expect. I mean I have read and listened to first time moms share advice and tips- which has all been helpful. But I know the best things I can do is learn to read our baby. Also, I also can totally understand why women schedule c-sections. I mean it would be so nice to just know when she is coming– the fact that there is a 4-5 week window (between 37 and 42 weeks) is kinda driving me crazy. How do I plan if I don’t know when she’s coming???

What are you most looking forward to?

The moment after birth when they place her on my chest and we get to meet our baby girl. Ohh, I smile just thinking about it. Also, getting excited about TWO baby showers this month, my mom visiting from California and two friends coming to stay with us!

So, 9-ish more weeks to go. Hard to believe that she and I are going to keep growing! Not sure how my skin will keep stretching, but I trust it will. Next time I do an update I will really be mas gordita.

Your daddy and I have been talking more about you recently because you are kicking and moving quite a lot these days. We wonder what you’re going to look like? Will you have a head full of dark hair? Will you have light skin like me or dark skin like your daddy? Your auntie Christine thinks you’ll be caramel colored. We talk about what it will be like with a newborn in our lives? Your daddy imagines all three of us going for breakfast and walking Pepe at El Cerro. I just imagine being really, really tired.

Mija, we are excited to be your parents, but we know we’re going to mess up. You will quickly learn that we’re not perfect. You’ll see me get frustrated and make loud exaggerated sighing noises from the kitchen when I find more dirty dishes in the sink. Daddy might get mad when I pepper him with a hundred questions as soon as he walks in the door. You’ll see us arguing and sometimes we disagree about what we should buy or where we should go.  But we love each other a whole lot and we hope you’ll see that, too.

In fact I think one of the greatest gifts we can give you is a healthy marriage; not a perfect marriage, but a healthy one. One where you’ll hear us say, “I love you” and “I am sorry” frequently. One where you see us having fun and laughing together, but also one where you know how our voices change when we start arguing and disagreeing.

We are fortunate that this is something our parents gave and modeled for us. Yes, Mija both of your grandparents, still love each other a lot and showed your daddy and I what a lifelong partnership looks likes.

Look at these pictures of your abuelitos:

They got married 40 years ago on April 7, 1973. They raised four kids and adopted one more. Your daddy says they showed him what sacrifice and commitment looks even when it wasn’t easy. Your abuelo, Papa Choyo, tells me that your abuela was always the strong one of the relationship. She trusted and prayed when he doubted and wondered how God would provide. Your Mama Hilla just smiled when I asked her if she was the strong one. She said, “No, no fue asi. I just supported him and squeezed his leg under the table whenever he talked too much.”

Now, these are my mom and dad, your Nana and Papa.

They got married 31 years ago on November 28, 1981. They also had four kids and a few dogs and cats and fish in the mix. I remember Nana and Papa always being honest with us kids about God, money and big family decisions. They didn’t hide things from us or sugarcoat answers. And they didn’t hide how much they loved each other either. My dad, your Papa, would write scribbled, barely legible, post-it notes for Nana, and leave it on her car just to say I love you.  And your Nana would plan and prepare meals and activities for us four kids, so that they could get away just the two of them for a few nights. Something I never realized was probably essential to their healthy marriage.

Your daddy and I are still learning how to do this; how to have the kind of marriage that endures for 30 or 40 years. But I hope you see how your daddy adores me. How he kisses me on the lips before he leaves for the day and how he reaches across the car to grab my hand and say “Yo te amo, Michelle.” How he gets gas in my car and fixes the shower when there’s no hot water and never complains when I ask him to pick up something from the tienda.

And I hope you see how much I love him, too.

Mija, there is a verse in 1 John that says something about you will know they are my disciples by how they love each other. And your daddy and I believe this with our whole heart. We want you to see God in us and in our marriage. We want you to see how much we love each other by how we treat one another and talk about the other person even when they’re not there.

So it may mean we leave you for a weekend with friends so we can have a few nights away. Or it may mean we take time as a family to rest and play and remember how to love each other well when we get tired, grouchy and short-tempered. And it will most definitely mean that we’ll need lots of grace as we figure out how to be parents to you and keep loving and serving one another well.

My prayer is that one day you’ll see a picture like this from our wedding day and say, “oh, the best gift my parents gave me was that they loved each other well.”

Mija, we can’t wait to meet you and be your parents.

Love,

Mama

(Mija is a Spanish word that literally means “my daughter.” It’s actually written “mi hija.” But when said quickly together it sounds like “mija” and it is said with endearment, kind of like sweetie or sweetheart in English. Female teachers often use it with little girl students. Mijo being the equivalent for little boys. It happens to be one of my favorite Spanish words.)

This is the second letter in a series of letters to my future daughter. The first can be read here.

All the stuff from the medicine cabinet dumped into a bag.

The entire contents of the sock and underwear drawer thrown in another.

Totally my style.

Thankfully, the house we found to rent is in the same residential community so our move was just one block away. But one block away might as well be 10 miles when you’re carrying bags and baskets and loading up the pick-up truck for the 5^th time. Let’s be honest, the guys did most, all of the heavy lifting, while I spent the better part of the afternoon dumping out the contents of bags and trying to organize the bottom kitchen cabinets without squishing my growing belly.

A dear friend brought us over dinner at 6pm: Chicken sandwiches, a bowl of guacamole with chips and two fruit smoothies. A perfect Sunday night dinner. I am convince sometimes love looks like strong arms that lift and carry and move your fridge, and other times love is a meal left on the table after a long day. I had never thought about bringing friends dinner at the end of a moving day, but it was the most nourishing moment of our day.

By 8pm, after 12+ hours of working, our conversation had deteriorated to:

 “Have you seen my socks?”

- “In the plastic bag.”

- “Which one?”

-“I can’t find the towels.”

-huh?

 -“My back hurts.”

- “Mine, too.”

 Clearly moving brings out my good side : )

I was so hot, irritated and sweating that I didn’t even take a single pictures to document our move. But as we fell asleep Sunday night with the fan blowing directly on our faces I realized this is where we’re going to bring our daughter home. This is where we’ll spend the first few weeks as a little family of three, probably groggy with exhaustion and pure joy. This is where we’ll host grandparents and friends and visitors who will come to meet out little girl.

We still don’t have internet at the house and our stove is not yet connected. But we’re getting settled. Poco a poco. I feel the sudden urge to get rid of half of the stuff the crowds my closet and clean the house and make space;

Space for this little girl who is coming in 10 weeks.

Space for little girl clothes and a bassinet and some place where we can change her bzillions of poopy diapers.

I think they call this nesting, right?

Well, baby girl there is space for you here. We’re making this our home for now…and in 6 months we’ll move back to our other home : )

And I let you know what’s easier…moving with a 30 week pregnant belly or moving with a 4 month old strapped to my chest Somehow I have a feeling I have no idea how easy I had it this time around.

My first nesting arrangement: The house is still rather unorganized, but there is space here for a picture of the newest little member of our famila.