My Dear Blog,
Hi, it’s been awhile. I mean I know I have written a few posts this past year about Not Hiding Elsa and letting Expectations Melt Away, but overall my posts have been rather sparse. Maybe once a month, maybe. I start drafts and don’t finish them. I stare at the white screen and type nothing. My daughter is sleeping better than ever before but I am writing less. I have been stuck. I analyze the words in my head before I write them. Which is the worst thing you can do as a writer. I know this. I have had so many things I have wanted to write important about: thoughts about being Pro-woman and why I whole heartedly support #Blacklivesmatters. I have wanted to write about race and privilege and my life in Guatemala where as a light-skinned foreigner I am often treated better than my dark-skinned husband who in his own country.
I have wanted to write about the gift of friendships recently and how I dream of writing a children’s book. I have wanted to tell you how wonderful my parents are and how they both came to visit this summer because they love being grandparents. I have wanted to write about how Elena is almost potty trained (!!!) but still nursing and once again I continue to let go of expectations about motherhood. I have wanted to write more about our bicultural marriage and how some days I still can’t believe that I have been living here for over 5 years. I have wanted to write about the prayer I say most nights at dinner and how I am learning to really listen to others, but also to myself. I want to write about what I am hoping to teach my daughter about the art of awareness and the profound mystery of God and importance of rest.
I have wanted to write about random things like the my favorite birthday gifts for toddlers and how I have found the best natural deodorant that actually works! I forgot to write here about my piece that was published on Scary Mommy’s site. It was one the most fun posts to put together because it was full of reasons why traveling to Guatemala with kids is so great. I have wanted to write how my bilingual child is talking in both languages, correcting my spanish and teaching me new spanish words. It’s both amazing and kind of humblig. I have want to write the story about how we helped start a preschool in Coyolate and what I have learned about poverty and asking the right questions.
But here’s the thing I realized, I have been writing about all of those things. Just not here.
My dear blog, I hate to break it to you but I think you are being replaced by Instagram.
I don’t know exactly when and why it started. But for some reason the simplicity of the space made it easier. Less really is more. The tiny white box offers less distraction, less room for self-editing and analyzing my words and more room to just write. And that’s what I have been doing. With my two thumbs I can now tap out sentences faster on my iphone than on my computer. Ridiculous, right?! But I am writing. And I actually love it. I am sure my long posts are annoying to some, maybe indifferent to most, but for me they are a little place to create and reflect and share my heart.
I know dear blog, you are the better platform in the long run. You control funny things like SEO and keep track of clinks and views per month. You make it easy to search back and find a story or a post from last year. Friends can share a link easily from a blog, but not as much from Instagram. Instagram is like an album of your favorite pictures and some have notes scribbled on the back and some don’t. But you have to go back through and look at each one to find out. But in-between those squares on my screen I found my voice and offer you a glimpse into my life and my thoughts. It’s beautiful and lovely, but long-term not the best way to organize your words. I know this.
I am just not sure what to do about it. Maybe I’ll copy and paste some of my favorite posts over here? Maybe I’ll try to blog from my phone, take advantage of my stellar thump-tap. I am not sure.
Blog, don’t give up one me. This isn’t a break-up, just a break. I need a little time to think and disconnect and figure out why and what and where I want to write. Maybe you just need an updated look, like a fresh hair-cut and I need a few weeks off, you know to let my thumbs rest.
Dear blog, you keep such good track of my life and posts. You make it so easy to remember how last year around this same time we drove down to Nicaragua and spent a few weeks traveling around. Well, next week we’re going back to our favorite little beachside town where we will swim in the ocean, try to help Elena get over her aversion to sand and enjoy the pace of life where the biggest decision each day is which swimsuit to wear. I’m not bringing my computer and I am considering not bringing my phone (I know, gasp!) so you dear blog will just have to wait.
Don’t worry though, I’ll be back. Hopefully tan, relaxed and ready to keep writing more here.
Thanks for waiting,
P.S. In the mean time if you’re not on instagram you should be. There are hundreds of pictures filling up those squares and even more importantly to me perhaps, are words behind each picture. You can click here to see most of my #mysimplycomplicatedinstablogs