Archive for February, 2012

Let me introduce my sister, Stephanie….more commonly known as Steph. She’s creative, funny and full of wisdom on a variety of topics.

♥  ♥  ♥

Part 2 of Tales from the Wedding is told in her in perspective. I guarantee it will make you laugh.

{bonus: inside look into my wonderful, slightly complicated family}

you can read it here.

enjoy.

Thanks to Beyonce for making this phrase popular and oh-so-catchy. But, I know what you’re thinking. Michelle, you’re not single anymore.  

Somehow it seems that once someone “crosses over” to this other world called marriage you lose the right to speak about awkward first dates, lonely nights at home or being single.  However, in my defense I have spent more of my adult life single than married so I think I have something worth saying. I remember well- very well- what it feels like to be single. So, single ladies- here me out.

I have been married all of 3 months. Just enough months to realize that marriage is wonderful in so many ways, but it takes work. A different kind of work than other relationships. And in these 3 months I have also realized that marriage is no replacement for female friendships. (some of you are saying, duh, obviously not)  I have listened to married friends and mentors and wise women three times my age always tell me this-

but maybe it’s like most things in life, you don’t always believe it until you’re in it.

Since being married I have probabaly enjoyed my female friendships just as much if not more than ever-- a 2 hour skype sesh with one of best friends in California. The kind where the topics change quickly, interspersed with laughter and “wait, wait, do you remember when____?”  A long email exchange from a friend who is honest about where she’s at so it gives me permission to do the same. And an afternoon walk with a friend here where you lose count of how many times you passed by the same street because the conversation is that good.

I have learned these are the kind of relationships that are so important. And I think all too often dating couples, newly engaged and recently married people forget this. Or when we’re single we think- well, I’ll hang out with these girls for now, but once I’m married my husband will fill this role. wrong.

It think it’s safe to say your husband or your future husband will never, ever be one of your girlfriends. It doesn’t matter how caring or thoughtful he is, he will probably never want to sit in on the couch in his pjs and gush about how great that movie was or discuss what color nail polish you should paint your toes. In fact I’d bet money on it.

I sometimes wonder if we place too many expectations on this one person- in this case one man. One person cannot be your best friend, your sole supporter, your lover, your counselor, your partner, your advice-giver, your empathizer, etc. It’s just not possible people.  And I don’t really think it’s healthy either. Don’t get me wrong G is a wonderful husband and we’re enjoying figuring out marriage together, but I think he would agree with me. He can’t and doesn’t want to be all these things for me. In fact he knows, as do I, that I am a better version of myself when I have time with girlfriends.

I mean there are some things that only a girlfriend is going to get. And it doesn’t matter if you’re single or married, divorced or dating. Something about having those female friends who have experienced similar stories of cramps, uncomfortable gyno appointments, hilarious waxing stories and painful birthing stories. Those female friends who know you and your heart and have seen you at your best and at your worst and can tell you when you need to change. Those are the kind of women you want to keep in your life- it doesn’t matter what you’re marital status is.

Do you agree? Married Ladies? Single Ladies?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

yes, I know, I know…today is not Wednesday. It’s Thursday. But just go with me. The days and the weeks sometimes burr together here. I am trying desperately to create a little routine in my life- in a country, culture and job where things seem to change. all. of. the. time.

 I mean…this is guatemala.

I think Guatemalans are perhaps some of the most flexible, least likely to complain people on the whole planet. I do not yet count myself in this group- not yet anyway. But maybe I’m getting closer. Maybe? For instance, things like changes in road conditions used to confuse and frustrate me- now they just kind of fascinate me. When there is road construction in Guatemala one of two things happen either:  a) all the cars just wait for (insert: minutes, hours or days) for the dirt to be moved or b) they drive right through it.

I mean I have seen things that would never, ever be legal in the states, but here it just works. One way streets suddenly become two way streets with oncoming traffic swerving around the half fallen cliff. And huge open holes in the side of the road do not mean don’t pass. No, no the contrary. Cars, buses and scooters drive right by at perhaps a slightly slower speed.

I was leaving a friends house last week and had to stop to take a picture.  (see above) This actually does have one piece of caution tape and then a tree branch. (please, please notice the tree branches). When in Guatemala always look out for tree branches. Here tree branches mean CAUTION. Seriously, Guatemalans are incredibly resourceful. If your car breaks down on the side of the road- gather tree branches to put behind it to ward off on coming traffic. If there is a huge pothole in the middle of the road- stick a tree branch in it to let others know. If the road suddenly dead ends- just line up some tree branches. I mean who needs cones?

this is guatemala

On another note. This video has been playing on repeat in our house for the past week. It’s in Spanish, but they are great singers and it’s some quality music. Plus, it was filmed here. enjoy.

this is guatemala

What has been playing in your house this past Wednesday? or Thursday?

Like I said here, I am firm believer that a wedding is just one day…

and ours was Just. One. Day.

One Sunday at the end of November.

One beautiful, incredibly significant, slightly stressful day.

♥    ♥    ♥

I love the photos that are photographer captured before the wedding started. The getting ready. The setting up. The first look. But photos don’t capture everything. They don’t capture the stress on Friday when Gerber called me to say, “Mi amor, don’t panic, but the wedding site isn’t reserved” { yes, you read that correctly…it was NOT reserved as of the Friday before the wedding! God bless our dear wedding coordinator-  just one minor detail.}

The photos, don’t capture my frustration when I realized that I lost my cell phone 2 days before the wedding, which I should mention had every number I needed for the wedding. { good job, Michelle }

The photos, also fail to capture the frenzy and craziness of hosting, translating and coordinating transportation for 28 dear family and friends. { who I could not have imagined our wedding without…I just failed to anticipate how much time and energy it would take to be the host and the bride. Two roles I did not balance very well. }

But what these photographs do capture is the JOY we both felt, the LOVE and SUPPORT we received, and the sheer ENJOYMENT of that day. Our Wedding Day.

♥    ♥    ♥

{ Part 1 }

{ more to come }

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happy valentine’s day

I live a first world life, in a third world country. I have running water in my house, wireless internet that usually works, a purple yoga mat and a scooter.  Inside my refrigerator you’ll find honey mustard and BBQ sauce, and on my kitchen counter sits an automatic coffee maker with adorable Anthropologie towels hanging above it. These are very first world things.

Walk 30 yards outside the gate and you’ll see my neighbors’ surroundings: make-shift homes out of cement block, corrugated sheet metal and plastic lamina. Billowing smoke rises up from their wood burning stoves and brooms sweep away the dust on their dirt floors. These are third world things.

And some how the two collide here.  Side by side.

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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{ women waiting to fill up their water jugs in santa maria de jesus }

My neighbor’s son plays on the grass in front of our house as she waters her lawn. Less than 20 minutes away where I teach, the families and schools do not have running water because the city government won’t pay to buy a new pump for well water.

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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On one corner of the street there is an internet cafe. Directly across a man hunches over to readjust the firewood stacked up on his back. Checking facebook status’ and recent youtube videos on one side, and carrying fuel for tonight’s meal on the other.

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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I walk past the park on my way to buy bread in the panaderia. Junior high age girls sit perched on the benches giggling, sending text messages and watching the boys leave school. An older women with grey hair and round hips balances a basket of fruit on her head, keeping one had in her apron holding onto her days’ earnings and another tightly wrapped around the tiny wrist of little one. They wait for the busy to head home.

•   •   •

this is guatemala. t.i.g

  •   •   •

Guatemala is a land of contradictions. Where the first world enters the third world, but often does not allow the third world the same rite of passage. They are held together in this odd tension. It’s a tension that begs to ask:

How does Guatemala have one of the world’s Nobel Prizes in Literature, but yet still have one of the high rates of illiteracy in Central America?

A Guatemalan woman was awarded The Nobel Peace Prize in 1992, and yet there are now more killings each day than there were during the civil war. Why?

How come Guatemala’s Mayan ancestors were some of the most ingenuitive and wise people of their day, but the majority of the research on these people and their kingdoms has been written in English? Which means most Guatemalan kids do not learn about their own Mayan heritage in the schools.

How come some Guatemalans travel to Europe to shop and have weekend houses at the lake, but there are millions more who spend 14 hours plowing a field just to earn a $1.50 for their days work?

•   •   •

this is guatemala. t.i.g

  •   •   •

A land of first world luxurious and third world poverty. I have to believe there is something the two can learn from each other. Some kind of reciprocal sharing that can take place. I have to believe this because I live here, between these two worlds. I get to see it. and feel it. and smell it. and experience it. each. and. every. day. And I like that. I get to wrestle with what it means to live within this tension. And hopefully find ways to build relationships between these two worlds.

•   •   •

this is guatemala. t.i.g

  •   •   •

 { some of the people I get to do this kind of relationship building work with }

Don’t ya wanna come be part of it? : )

I often miss Santa Barbara on Saturdays. However, I know if we lived there then I would miss Guatemala Monday through Friday.

Maybe this is what it means to live between two cultures. two countries. two places. When I am here, part of me will miss and long for there. And when I am there, my heart will ache for here.

•  •  •

When I’m feeling this way the sure-fire way to give me perspective and healthy dose of contentment is to head to the b.e.a.c.h.

The crashing waves and the warm breeze, the expanse of the ocean and oh, THE sun. Seriously, it does wonders for my soul.  Just the feeling of the sand between my toes is like medicine for this California girl. Not to mention, that I think it may be the only place in Guatemala where walking around in your swimsuit is entirely appropriate.

Being the wonderful husband that he is, Gerber agreed to go this weekend. (Mind you he is not a fan of being in the sun, sweating and having - in his words - “sand stuck between his toes.” )

Now I should clarify that the beaches in Guatemala are not exactly like the beaches in Santa Barbara.

Rewind to my first trip to the beach with G about a year and a half ago. I was having one of those I-miss-Santa-Barbara-and-the-beach-and-everything-else kinda of moments. So he suggested we drive to beach for the day. I was so excited as soon as the ocean waves appeared in front of the windshield that I ran - literally toward the water’s edge. Except I only got half way there. My feet were burning, I was sweating, and I remember thinking this is not what I had expected (those damn, expectations, huh?).

Apparently I didn’t know that that the beaches en el sur de Guatemala are black-sand beaches. And they’re hot. Really, really hot and humid. No one lays on the beach with their towel and a book because it’s just uncomfortable. Your feet would be burnt and you’d be dehydrated in about 10 minutes from the amount of perspiration dripping from your body. (Do you see why G is not a huge fan of the beaches in Guatemala?)

But this weekend we found this place:

And we brought this guy:

So Gerber could have someone to play with:

And I could relax here:

 We ate and slept and threw the frisbee back and forth. We watched the sunset and talked and had one of those much needed restful kind of weekends. The kind where there are no plans, no phone calls, no talk about work, no figuring out how we’re going to keep a budget, etc. The kind where there is not much of anything- and that is perfectly ok. We haven’t had a weekend like this in- months, I think. Sometime around October our lives got slightly busy and hectic and all the excitement (and stress) that comes with celebrations and visitors and traveling and change and the holidays has taken it’s toll.

Sometimes I think when I start “missing” something or someplace it’s my bodies way of saying- slow down. enjoy what you have. appreciate what is here. be content. go to the beach….in Guatemala.

And those are all things I could use more of.

Side note: This place had the coolest bathrooms I have ever seen. I mean what’s better than open air bathrooms with outdoor showers? (see below)

I have lived in Guatemala since 2010. And there are many things about life here that have become quite normal to me- seeing a family of four pile onto a motorcycle or watching women carry baskets of freshly cut fruit on their heads, selling it in little bolsitas in the park. I am no longer surprised when I see a horse drawn carriage trotting down the street, only to be passed by a shiny BMW. And it no longer phases me as much when I see kids playing at recess amidst mini-construction zones filled with moving tractors, rebar cutters and cement mixers. I mean in the states, we would have cornered off the whole street with yellow caution tape and closed school. But not here.

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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 Long gone our the days of online bill paying (doesn’t exist), dishwashers (actually never seen one in Guatemala), and co-pays (for better or worse the health insurance system doesn’t really work down here)

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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But this is also where avocados are available year round, no one worries about getting sued, and the lady at the local tienda throws some extra tomatoes in my bag just to be nice. People are generous, generally, very patient and do not complain.

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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One of my friends saw this idea on this blog here. And I am joining in.

Today is my first Wherever Wednesday.

And my wherever is Guatemala.

So, stay turned. This is my weekly attempt to share a glimpse into life here.

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this is guatemala. t.i.g

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Where is your Wherever Wednesday?