Reflections on Engagement

{photo credit: ann torrence}

I was not one of those girls who had my entire wedding planned out before the age of 18. I actually hadn’t really thought much about my wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I had definitely thought about other things- like how I wanted to decorate my living room or where I dreamed of spending my honeymoon and how many kids I wanted, but not my wedding. And I certainly never really imagined or thought about being engaged. I think when you’re single throughout most of your twenties you kind of assume that engagement is what what happens to other people, not you.


engagement is a lot of..

There is a lot about being engaged that I had never really thought about. I think engagement takes a lot of work. A lot of conversations. A lot of expectations. And a lot of time unpacking those expectations. Your own. Your fiances’. And your families’. There’s a lot of room for miscommunication. Big arguments about small things. Fun dreams and crazy ideas.  A lot of asking what other people want. And a lot of compromising. A lot to look forward to. And simply, just a lot to do.

And remember all of that begins and ends somewhere between “will you marry me?” and “I do.

Believe me. I am by no means complaining. Engagement is wonderful and exciting, slightly stressful and overwhelming, but its’ not all consuming. Engagement is a season. And I am firm believer that planning a wedding is important, but planning a marriage is so much more significant.


{almost} anti-wedding blogs

I have shied away from too many wedding blogs because they simply overwhelm me and cause me to compare everything and anything. However, there is one that I can’t resist. Let me introduce you to: A Practical Wedding {APW}. Their philosophy is refreshing, wise and straight out helpful:

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See, why I like it. Really, you should check it out. 

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32 days ’till “i do”

One of the best quotes I’ve read about marriage is:

“marriage is an unconditioned commitment to an imperfect person”

and maybe that’s what engagement prepares you for. It forces you to ask, am I ready and willing to commit forever, unconditionally to do life with this other person, a person as imperfect as me?

I am counting down the days until I get to say “yes.” On November 20th I get to marry my best friend. He is definitely not perfect, but he is perfect for me.

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8 thoughts on “Reflections on Engagement

  1. Michelle, this is an insightful and encouraging blog entry. Thanks so much for sharing — I am so excited for you and thrilled to know that you are taking full advantage of this opportunity to deepen your relationship with Gerber and reflect on the beauty of your future life together.

  2. This is a fabulous, fabulous post. I agree- too many people focus on the wedding and not the marriage! Where is your wedding going to be? I can’t wait to see pics and hear details!

  3. Gracie, Thank you! I feel you like you already know him but I think that’s just because we’ve traveled together through this beautiful country.

  4. Sara, thanks for your comment. I think if more women viewed engagement as a season and not a point to arrive at it would change the way we did a lot of things, right?

  5. Hi Lelsey- The wedding is here in Guatemala and then we’ll have a reception in Santa Barbara a month later. I’m sure I will post some pics and of course the details : )

  6. Dear Michelle,
    I was reading your blog today, and thinking of you . . . and you’re absolutely right, that what I remember how you just glowed when you walked in with your dad and out with Gerber, and how great it was to be part of this amazing group of family and friends gathered to celebrate you. (Of course I also remember all the stuff you did for the guests, including maps of Antigua, and great food at all the parties, and Bob is still talking about fireworks with weddings . . .) And lots more. I loved taking photos.
    I’m thinking of the two of you with much love, and I hope your honeymoon is going smoothly, and the right combination of relaxation and fun.
    much love, Ruth

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