Simply Complicated

In case you’re new here, I started writing letters to our daughter each month after I wrote this post for spanglishbaby.com  before she was born. Last month her daddy wrote a letter and the previous months you can find here. Enjoy this little snapshot into life with our little girl.

Dear Mija,

I’m typing this letter to you on my iPhone because you are asleep in my arms. You and I have spent lots of time together like this: you sleeping, me on my phone. Sometime around 4 months you decided that the world was too interesting and you didn’t want to miss out. So we’ve had a long month or so trying to get you to sleep and stay asleep. Lately my motto has been “do whatever works”  and what works for us right now is for me or Daddy hold you in our arms or in the ergo for e.v.e.r.y. nap. Everyone says I should soak up these moments and enjoy them, and don’t get me wrong I do, but sweet girl I sometimes want someone to reassure me that one day you will nap all by yourself in your crib and sleep through the night. Whatta ya think? Maybe a good goal for 6 months, eh?

Elena, my love, it has even be fun to see your personality shine through these past few weeks. I feel like we are getting to know YOU so much better. And YOU, my dear, are not a baby in a book, or a certain temperament to be figured out. No, you are uniquely wonderfully, you. You my dear, are persistent and perceptive. You observe so closely new faces and places. You love being out and about. Your favorite places so far seem to be: parque central en Antigua, walking around Santa Maria de Jesus and any place with loud motos and live music. When someone new talks to you, you usually stare them down for 3 seconds with your big brown eyes and then if you’re pleased, you give them the biggest grin. It’s pretty cute. You are active and strong and rarely lay still. You are babbling up a storm and are very good at exercising your vocal chords.

And have I told you that you have the sweetest little laugh?  Yes, you do. You laugh the most with me and Daddy, especially when we play peek-a-boo. (But we usually say it in Spanish and it sounds something like “chee- wa”) You are also at a stage where you are grabbing and reaching and putting anything and everything in your mouth- my hair, your fingers or the corners of pillows, tend to be among your favorites. When we lay you down under the activity mat, you get really frustrated. You grunt and lift your shoulders and head off the mat trying so hard to sit up. You’re almost there, but you you still need someone’s hand on your back so you don’t fall over.

Elena, I like this age. You are so curious and interactive, but not yet mobile. You are still in the lay on a blanket on the floor stage and cuddle in bed stage. You’re not scooting or crawling just yet. And you’re acting more and more like a little person, but you’re still tiny enough to by my baby. Sometimes while we sit in this chair I smell the top if your head and breathe in the sweet, soft baby smell . Your soft, tender fingers rest on my chest and sometimes when you get startled the reach up and grab my chin.

I never want to forget how soft and smooth your little fingertips feel against my skin.

Or your chubby thigh rolls

Or how your brown beautiful eyes get so big when someone talks to you

I sometimes stare at long dark eye lashes when you sleep.

I love watching how your little mouth knows right where to latch on even when your dead asleep.

And how you fit right between my shoulders and legs, curled up like a little c, when I lay next to on my side.

I want to remember how your skin tends to change shades depending on the light or what color you wear and which Instagram filter I use

Guatemalans think you’re “bien canche” and gringos say you’re “tan,” but I think you’re just perfect.

You’re hair is darker than my hair ever was as a little girl, but not as black as your daddy’s. I’m still hoping it grows.

Your Auntie Christine is a little worried you may have inherited the Acker baby-bald-gene.

I’m hoping you’ll at least have a little pony tail by the time you’re 5!

Elena, I really love being your mom. It is by far one of the greatest joys, and hardest things I’ve done so far.

my current little helper and future banana muffin eater

ok, let’s be honest maybe “healthy” and “chocolate” don’t belong in the same sentence, but regardless this is a recipe I’ve adapted over the years and I probably make them at least once a month. They’re good, filling, and make a great on-the-go breakfast! Plus, they’re super easy, like a-two-bowl-one-spoon kind of deal. They are not gluten free, but could probably be easily adapted.

I’ve gotten a few request for the recipe so here it is:

(and for my Guate friends and readers: good news…ALL of the ingredients can be found here! woohoo)

Ingredients:

Directions:

(these muffins aren’t quite as “cake” like as normal banana muffins. If you’re hosting a brunch or shower and want a sweet, soft, fluffy banana muffin these are probably not the muffin you want to make. These are more like a hearty breakfast muffin with just a touch of chocolate

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I usually write these letter to our daughter once a month. It’s a small way for me to remember what we did and how she is changing as a baby and how I am learning as a mother. There’s lots to say about month 4. I always have lots [...] Continue Reading…

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Before I had Elena I knew I could not keep doing everything I was doing, and take care of a baby. But some stubborn, let-me-try-part of me said, “No, I can do it.”

And I’ve been trying for the past few months, but lately I’ve had to admit, I can’t. [...] Continue Reading…

Dear Mija,
I realize these letters may be as much about you, as they are about me. It’s my own little way to pause and reflect not just on how you’ve grown or changed, but what I’m learning about motherhood.
What I’ve learned this month is that I can’t wait to [...] Continue Reading…

I have one hour. One hour to myself. And here I sit at Starbucks. Realizing how much I have missed this time; time to write and think and let my mind wander amidst, the buzz of milk steaming, people chatting and the computers keys tapping. I have always worked [...] Continue Reading…

It’s Friday night. We have finally have internet at the new house (yay!), we ordered pizza for dinner and Elena is sleeping downstairs.

(two things I’m still getting used to: 1) her sleeping while not being carried! and 2) having a downstairs! -I’ve never lived in a house with stairs [...] Continue Reading…

Dear Mija-

I planned on writing this letter last week when you actually turned two months, but Mama’s felt a little behind…on well, everything. But I think that comes with being a new mom. Don’t get me wrong I love being your mom, but it’s been an adjustment for sure. [...] Continue Reading…